Pseudo Science.  That is what I feel I immerse myself in.  I find that I can wrap my brain around complex scientific concepts yet when sifting through all the background math, my mind turns to runny pudding.  It’s as if I have a selective intellect.  I can conceive but have not the ability to create the conceptual proof.

Space time, multiple individuals, Chaos Theory and now I’m sifting through something called Biocentrism.  Its author claims that before a universal theory of everything can be created, biology and physics must be integrated.  Can life begin from nothing?  Evidently not.  Life only exists where consciousness leads.

And no, I am not referring to Dr. Robert Lanza’s work as Pseudo Science.  It is my inability to completely grasp his topic that annoys me.  I am Pseudo Science incarnate.  I have moments of such clarity.  Then with the reading of a single article, my mind becomes a muddle and I feel a need to sit in a corner and write “I will not think of myself as brilliant ever again,” some one thousand times.

Yet the task I have thrust myself into leads to the River Science.  The investigation is not to document but to find truth.  And in looking for this veracity of personal history, I always come to this question, “Am I smart enough?”

I don’t even know if I have a college degree.  What I do know is that I have a sharp mind with very large holes punched through its main sail by Buccaneers who have stolen pieces and left me adrift in a sea of quandary.  So, am I smart enough?  I’ll sharpen my cutlass and jump back into the battle once more because life evidently was not created from nothing and thus my appearance in the desert cannot be random.