Mentors, Icons and Other Demons

Oliver’s Post:

Sam Shepard Directs The Late Henry Moss

I watched a documentary the other day called This So-Called Disaster: Sam Shepard Directs the Late Henry Moss.  I wanted to see something of the man Moses has made a subconscious Mentor of.  Didn’t want to see his movies because he is only an actor in them.  No, I wanted to see the real person.

The documentary shows a man directing his own play.  Nowhere in it does he ramble off large speeches.  He listens more than anything.  He watches.  It would appear that Moses’ dream shaman was a creation all his own.  I didn’t need a documentary to figure that one out.  I did find the real man more interesting than the dream version.

But at least Moses has a mentor, real or make believe, an influence that focuses his life.  Me?  I am not really drawn to icons.  I already have too many unattainable influences in my life.  I prefer the real and the now.

Outside of Moses’ circle, I have one friend and one confidant.  Friend?  FBI Special Agent Jessica Abrams.  Yes, Melanie you are correct.  We have a friendship of sorts.  I may be a professional responsibility to her but she has given me focus.  At least in memory, I have no experience with a sister but that is how I think of Jessie.  The older sister I may have had but will never know.

My confidant?  My shrink.  Yes.  Therapy.  That wasn’t hard to figure out either.  Jessie set this up.  Once a week I take a train into New York to see my therapist.  Why New York and not someone local?  Jessie thought I needed to get out of my home turf once in a while and this guy is a specialist in people who pop out of nowhere with no memories.

Why tell you all this?  My therapist thinks it will be good for me.  So I comply.

Sanity?  I don’t dream like Moses but I see things differently – two worlds at once.  I’m not sure which is the real and which the made up.

Therapy.

Mentors?  Yes.  One.  Icons?  None, except Moses himself.  Demons?  I face them once a week in New York.