FAITH?

Creationism?  Angels?  How is it I did not see these things in my posts?  My religion is the search for truth, my truth, yes, but truth none the less.  My faith, two fists full of sand I scatter about the ground waiting for a labyrinth image to emerge.  I’ve never spent much time with the concept of religion.  Quite funny for someone named after one of the Bibles most famous persons.

My desire has never been to find God but myself or at least The Book of Moses Haygood that explains who I really am.  I do not disparage religion either.  It’s just never stuck to me.  Over the years, I’ve had many friends whose faith was solid as oak.  But never once did anyone try to turn me.  I suppose my constant state of insanity waved them off.

Years ago I met this ex-nun.  She had left the order of her own accord.  Wanted to walk among the people she told me.  Not be distanced by the garb.  Her belief in God was absolute but never a thing to foist on others unless they wished to hear.

When it was apparent that I was not of the flock, she merely said, “It doesn’t matter where you go to find answers, it’s just important that you go and find the well that quenches your thirst.”

That’s what I’ve done, sought after a well that will quench my thirst.  It’s rarely in books but I do find solace between the pages.  It has been in places but always when I am alone.  I suppose I do have faith, faith not in a supreme being but rather larger forces beyond my comprehension.

What those forces may or may not be?  I equate this question with yeast used by a baker in a loaf of bread.  If the yeast was sentient, could it ever grasp the concept of the baker?  How then could I?  I merely ruminate on the small hints given us about the fabric of the universe.  When it comes to men of the cloth, I feel more comfortable with a tailor than a priest.  I only have to explain why I want a cuff in the pants, not my sins which I fear may be many.